INVITATION TO ACTIVATE SELF CONFIDENCE
Image: Barbara Blane, shadow-ballet dancer by Ray Olson, 1939
To catch you up—we’ve been diving into a powerful talk from motivational speaker, Jim Rohn, titled “The 10 Powers To Be Great.” We began with a discussion on how to navigate our higher purpose, and now we’re reflecting on the next power to unlock the greatest version of ourselves: cultivating self-confidence.
Radiating confidence can feel like a superpower. Confidence is something that exudes from within, a magnetism that brings us the relationships, experiences, and opportunities we’re seeking. And luckily, it's not something special, saved for only a few… it’s a practice and muscle that can be activated, allowing ANY of us to tap into our confidence if we know just how to do so.
Jim talks about cultivating this inner-power through discipline. He asks, “Where does self-confidence come from? Not neglecting, first of all, the daily disciplines…Self-confidence really comes from feeling good about yourself, and one of the best ways to feel good about yourself is, at the end of the day, to know that you poured it on—you did your best. If you conducted a meeting, you did the best you could. If you had a phone call, it was the best phone call you could possibly make...self-confidence comes from the lack of neglect, not neglecting to do small, daily disciplines.”
This idea is more relevant than ever in the June Benshen Course (still time to sign up here), where the monthly focus is on Personal Power. When we decide it's time to level up in our lives, having that self-confidence muscle strong not only helps us have the energy to do what it takes to turns vision into reality but allows us to tap into our confidence in ourselves to get through tough moments, like times of doubt and resistance.
"A feeling of confidence and personal power comes from facing challenges and overcoming them."
- BRIAN TRACY
So how we do really build that self-confidence and personal power?
Sure, we can meditate. We can use affirmations. We can do all the things, which are absolutely useful to building emotional mastery and training our minds to think differently.
But really, we must also “feel the fear and do it anyway” (which, by the way, is SO much easier in the container of support + community…).
Confidence comes from, as Jim says, not neglecting the “daily disciplines” that allow us to develop the self-trust that we know we can do anything. Discipline can be a concept fraught with resistance. The truth, however, is that it helps build our ability to trust in self and enjoy life more. Once we create the framework and organizational structures necessary, it allows more room for the juice and fun to take place as we feel more and more confident from within to show up for life fully.
And when we feel GOOD about ourselves, we open ourselves up to having fun and really living IN-JOY/ENJOYING ourselves. In this newsletter, we’ll cover one of the most transformational practices to work on the self-confidence muscle, a moment-by-moment invitation to trust ourselves and our capabilities for creating the life of our dreams…
"Your personal power is not something that is going to reveal itself at some later date. Your power is a result of your decision to reveal it. You are powerful in whatever moment you choose to be."
-MARIANNE WILLIAMSON
Image: Mirror by Laurent Chauvat
EXERCISE:
THE POWER OF DISCIPLINE
The art of cultivating self-confidence, according to Jim, is through the act of not neglecting the “daily disciplines.” That can feel vague, but ultimately it’s about saying we're going to do something…and then doing it. This is the practice of keeping our word because when we keep our word, we begin to change our lives.
For example, let's say we've had some insecurities around money and/or financial sovereignty and have been wanting to take charge of finances for some time now. Maybe we even know exactly what it would take, like putting 10% of our paycheck into our savings account each month or making sure to pay bills on time rather than waiting til the last minute. Every month, we say we're going to do it … and then it doesn't happen. This is how we give our power away - when we know to do something and we don't do it.
And then, one day, we decide to do it, finally. We put that 10% in the savings account. Maybe it doesn't feel like much but then we do it again and again and again and suddenly, not only is the number growing, but so is our confidence and inner-power. Apply this concept to any area of life where we said we would do something but didn't and take inventory: what's on the other side of just doing the thing? How would it actually feel?
The act of keeping our word builds trust and confidence knowing that what we want can happen because we've practiced saying we're going to do something and then following through. This is how we deepen our sense of integrity and personal power: by turning word into action that fuels us to believe in ourselves and others to believe in us as well. (A great book on this topic is called The Speed of Trust by Stephen Covey for anyone who wants to dive deeper…)
EXERCISE: For the next week, aim to do what you say you're going to do and observe what shifts. Set yourself up for success by choosing things that are small and achievable. An important aspect to this following through, especially in the beginning as you cultivate this muscle, is to make it PLEASURABLE. Stay away from perfectionism or guilt through this process, and instead get curious. Here's some examples that are easy yet may even require muscling them out to do them daily or weekly…
Drink 8 glasses of water a day
Listen to one empowering podcast first thing in the morning
Don’t open social media for the first 30 minutes upon waking
Make a “procrastination list” and check off the top 5 things
Spend one hour per day working on that business idea you’ve always thought about
Do 3 minutes of left-nostril breathing before getting to bed
Move your body 10-20 minutes a day in a way that feels good to you
Wear something you may normally reserve for “date night” out in the world every day this week and see what it feels like to romance yourself
Build your Self Worth Bank Account as the Queen Josie Maran calls it, writing down one thing that you’re proud of that you did today and why you are worthy of abundance
“Personal power is the ability to take action.”
- TONY ROBBINS
Image: Sade in the mirror photographed by Graham Smith