Rule of Radiance No. 5 | Bat Those Lashes

I know. Dating can be exhausting. Can feel like searching for a job rather than a partner. Can feel like scratching your nails on chalkboard rather than that high that’s induced when the chemistry is off the charts and next thing you know it’s 2am. That, my negative Nancy’s, is because you have forgotten that you can invite in as much fun and pleasure into your life as you desire. My mom and I were talking over dinner last night how much dating has changed and she began laughing as she remembered when she and her best friends would go out, they would practice their “come hither.” Come hither?? I ask. “Yes, it’s when you confidently make eye contact with a guy of your liking, charmingly bat an eye lash, and then turn back around. It’s the come hither.” Come hither. Eye contact. Both are lost arts in the days where we hide behind our phones and wonder why we’re so lonely. Eye contact, flirting (which has very little to do with sexual intentions and everything to do with being absolutely comfortable in your body and self, sharing that vitality with anything that crosses your path) and the ability to give someone the Come Hither is what’s so missing from modern world. That’s why this week’s Rule of Radiance is to walk tall, stand confidently, and begin to practice making eye contact with people you admire, even if it makes you want to die a 1,000 deaths. Stop hiding behind only relying on dating apps and hoping to find Mr. Right on your phones in a sea of Mr. Horny’s (okay, there are some lovely men on dating apps... somewhere.) Apps are fine as long as you also practice making eye contact with the handsome neighbor, the cute guy at the coffee shop, the pretty girl eating alone. To learn the art of being open, being able to strike up a convo with anyone, anywhere will open up worlds to you you didn’t realize existed before. This week delete the apps and get out there. You have nothing to lose.