Many of you have been asking what book I am reading as I share tidbits and glimpses into Egyptian Alchemy. An acquaintance of mine handed me the Magdalen Manuscript a few years ago and I wasn’t interested in reading it as it was a channeled book and I thought that stuff was only for crunchy hippies. Over the past year my meditation practice, or spiritual practice if you will, has changed radically - what I once approached as a means to fix myself slowly became an experience to get to know myself, my real self, not the many layers and personalities and personas I have acquired, consciously and unconsciously.
At first it was an awkward unfolding that left me feeling very confused and conflicted about how I was / am to show up in the world. But I continued to meditate and continued to let things unfold. As Esther Hicks once explained this perfectly, “You feel like you’ve lost yourself but you’re really finding yourself and you’re discovering that who you thought you were is not who you really are."
For an entire year, I had to remove myself from people, experiences, trainings, circumstances, and social media in order to captivate the essence of the change that was happening. As time went on, I realized what I was really trying to do was take my power back and decide what was for me and what was not. And I realized that how I had been approaching yoga, wellness, and meditation for the last eight years was NOT working as I rarely saw lasting changes, only the roller coasting of floating high on cloud 9 only to come crashing down a few days or weeks later. Exhausted by the ups and downs, something inside of me kept urging me to slow down, to be still, and that through this stillness would come tremendous expansion.
But of course I didn’t listen. My spiritual and wellness practice began to feel endless, like a to-do list, and if I didn’t get it done, I experienced a lot of guilt and shame. I knew I needed to change after hitting a hard rock bottom.
Almost a year ago, the sun was shining for the first time in weeks, so I decided to take a book and sit outside to read in the fresh air, grabbing the Magdalen Manuscript without even thinking. As I sat down to read, I was transported to another world, something that has only happened once before while reading The Master’s Touch, a collection of teachings by Yogi Bhajan.
The Magdalen Manuscript is a channeled personal story of Mary Magdalen's tantric relationship with Yeshua ben Joseph, who later became known as Jesus Christ. A story buried beneath the patriarchy and Catholic Church for 2,000 years, her words emerge like a flower finally breaking through concrete.
The manuscript is Her story of her time as an High Initiate of the Temple of Isis in Ancient Egypt, something I had never heard of before. It was She who was the Holy Grail and spent her training in the Egyptian High Alchemical practices used to transform consciousness, through the path of tantra but also through simple, beautiful, soft, and generous meditations that can be done alone. It teaches, finally after years of being buried in the darkness, the Alchemies of Horus and Sex Magic of Isis.
That book changed me. Something happened just as I read the words from front to back in one sitting under the sunlight. It felt akin to Venus emerging from the depths of the sea, rising in grace, power, royalty, and sensuality.
I closed my eyes and imagined what it would be like to walk through the High Temples of Ancient Egypt, wearing white clothes draped along a tanned and toned body. I imagined that my hair would actually be the same, but maybe longer, and the bangs slightly shorter, for this haircut I wear always made me feel part of something different and more exotic. I imagined that if I was an Initiate in a circle of High Priestesses, how would I go about the world? How would I walk? Talk? Stand? Engage? Just from reading this book, my consciousness shifted into a new perception of what beauty and wellness looks like to me: a woman stepping into her royalty, power, grace, sensuality, sexuality, and spirituality.
As I started to incorporate some of the more simple meditations into my daily life, like sitting in the sun for a few minutes a day to draw in solar energy, which is essential for vitality and radiance, I was reminded how powerful it is to slow down, how it’s actually in slowness that beauty emerges.
Beauty cannot be cultivated in hustle, in rushing, in forcing ourselves to do things we don't want to do, in starving ourselves, in depriving ourselves of the arts, of reading, and writing, and learning, and lounging, and laughing.
Beauty is cultivated in slowness, that richness of taking time for ourselves. In leisure. In loyalty to finding out who we are, not in the obsession of running away from ourselves. Real beauty and real power means stepping into the embodied feminine which means we cultivate and embrace the essence of beauty, the essence of what it means to be a Woman, which is so much more powerful than we are told.
And through practice and embracing more of that slowness I began to realize how much magic we miss that exists within practices that we relate not to cultivate beauty and power but try to use them as a means to fix ourselves. When we can approach our practices with the intention of finding magic, within them and within ourselves, that’s when the real, lasting shift begins to unfold. As Roald Dahl once said, “And above all, watch with glittering eyes the whole world around you because the greatest secrets are always hidden in the most unlikely places. Those who don't believe in magic will never find it.”