005

I don't really want to write this post because it's my weak spot but I figure if even Superman has a weakness, I my as well. Everyone has their kryptonite. Mine is love. My romantic life is perpetually Monica yelling out, "I'M BREEZY." In my relationships and now as a single 20-something in New York City, I've been forced / inspired to look at those...not so breezy parts of myself. The biggest lesson, the biggest reflection, the biggest shadow I've come to realize is my inability to trust : to trust myself, to trust others and that they won't hurt me, to trust that I'll meet my partner-in-crime. I've been thinking about trust all day :: where does it come from, how does one earn it, how do we hone in on it when we would much rather try to control an outcome, whether it be in dating, in work, in healing a health issue. And I realized, we have two choices, only two choices, and nothing but these two choices. One is to trust our neurosis, which haven't gotten us anywhere except to trouble. And two, is to trust the Universe. One takes away our power, one gives us power. The imprint of our memories which create our neurosis can cause us to forget that the Universe wants what's best for us. Trust is just a muscle. Starting any new work out suck royally brut eventually, with enough persistence and steadiness in our discipline, we see results that we didn't imagine possible. So I think trust is like that. We have to do some heavy lifting to learn the art of trusting ourselves, trusting others, and trusting that everything will be okay, more than okay. And if we can't do that, that is why God created chocolate.