Modern dating is the tilt-a-whirl we never asked to get on. But here we are on the ride and have to learn the new rules of modern love. Love has always been relatively simple throughout history: you came, your courted, you conquered. Now, we have a new thing called *dating apps*. Think about it - never in the history of the world have we ever had such a thing. And now we’re all putting ourselves online and on sale for love but unlike Amazon, there’s no option to choose “handle with care.” We have an entirely new vocabulary around dating too: there’s ghosting, and also orbiting, and I’m not entirely certain if you’ve heard of submarining, but that’s one too. So what’s a girl/guy to do in this hot mess of mixed feelings and too many opportunities? You take it back to the basics: understanding the fundamental psychological makeup of women and men and from there you understand the rules of love. Yogi Bhajan called this Humanology, a huge topic where he explains how Humans work essentially. In one of my favorite lectures he says, “A man fundamentally wants freedom and a woman wants security.” So if he’s pulling away (freedom) that’s triggering your security (to insecurities) and the only way to solve that as with any problem is to find your own security. Don’t text to talk about it, that will be the downfall of that. As Sherry Argov says, “Men don’t respond to words, they respond to no contact.” (This is different for same-sex relationships because each understands the needs of the sex better, as they are the same). So put your phone down, your red lips on, go out for a night on the town with your best friends or take yourself on a date to the museum. And in that time, ask yourself - “Is this person making me feel how I truly desire to feel?” And that’s up to you to stand your ground. My personal motto is don’t text them or call them. If they’re treating me in a way that doesn’t align with how I want to be treated, then I simply move on with grace. Save the drama, it’s a big energy leak.