"These streets took all my soul from me
Tried to leave me in the cold
These streets took my conscience from me
Now tough love is all I show." - Future
I've been listening to this song a lot lately. I like to put it on really loud while I walk down the streets of New York. This year is my tenth year anniversary of my engagement to this city. I don't know if I'll ever marry it. It's one of those things where I'm one foot in and one foot out. But it's my city, imprinted like memory foam that has shaped me into who I am becoming. As to any creative, some bouts of feelings of lack of inspiration can creep in take over. When this happens, my tonic is to take very loud music and walk around. Tonight I was walking home from a party and I put my headphones on to this song picking up where it left off. This year has been a test. A test of faith. Of courage of strength. As I listened to the song, those very lyrics hit to my affair with New York. The pulsation of the city can steal your soul, can leave you in the cold. There's many times I felt like I wasn't going to make it. They can take your conscious, when you're surrounded by the most beautiful successful people on the planet. They can take your conscious when you slave away at your job. They can your conscious from you heartbreak after heartbreak. They can take your conscious when time moves faster here, friends move faster, passions move faster, loves move faster. But the end is what I like. 'Now tough love is all I show.' I thought, tough love. If I can make it here, if I can say I survived this concrete jungle, then absolutely nothing can get in my way. As I walked on, I caught a glimpse of myself in a window, smiled, and said, 'Try me.'