A few years ago I stumbled upon an Instagram account of a woman named Jeanne Damas. if you know me by now you know my love of French women, as they are the epitome of sensuality and beauty radiating from within, no matter they look like physically. As I began to follow Jeanne, I started to follow in awe, wondering how this woman could look stunning even in a simple knee-length skirt, espiradelle’s, and a thin cardigan sweater? Attitude, my dears, is truly in fact everything.
Let’s start by taking trip down psychology lane in the town called the Women of France. French woman, and many other European women, are brought up to embrace their beauty, femininity, and sensuality, NOT fear it. They are classy, confident, and generally, don't give two hoots what others think of them because they have come to truly believe that they are perfect, no matter what. Sound narcissitic? Well, to me that sounds more fun than believing we’re imperfect, not good enough, not pretty enough, thin enough, smart enough, blah blah blah boring. They are literally brought up, as my friend Violette, the ultimate French girl once told me, with the understanding that they are absolutely perfect and a gift to the world and if anyone tells them otherwise to absolutely 100% not believe them. So essentially, confidence and self-acceptance is embedded into the psyche of these women, two of the most important ingredients in cultivating sensuality and sexuality.
And most importantly, they’re not afraid of pleasure - be it sexually, romantically, or even in indulging in the simple pleasures of life - a little coffee, a little wine, a little croissant, and a lot of dancing the night away. They bathe in the sunshine topless. They read novels instead of How To Heal Autoimmune. They flirt with the world. But in a culture that is literally brought up on these principles of enjoying life rather than fearing it, what’s the rest of us to do? How do we become confident and sensual when we feel completely the opposite?
By investing in yourself and exploring your beauty + sensuality, that’s how. Wash your hair you dirty girl and let it down - hair flowing in the wind is undeniably sensual. Have short hair? Wear your favorite pair of earrings and shine bright like a diamond. Choose clothing that make you feel like a woman and leave the Lululemons at the door hunny. European women always make an effort to look their best, even if their just going to the market. And who are they looking their best for? THEMSELVES. This is the most important ingredient. Indulge in beauty routines that take way too long in beautiful lingerie, just for you (my favorite brand is The Great Eros). Get manicures and pedicures on the reg - no it’s not vain, it’s keeping your body in shape. You floss your teeth at night (hopefully) so why would you want hangnails and cracks in your feet? You don’t want to get into bed with a man who’s feet look like Gollum so why should you be all high and mighty to not take care of your own nails. Shave your armpits. Or don’t shave your armpits. Whichever make YOU feel most beautiful. Take yourself out on dates. Take dance classes. Dancing is the fastest way to embrace your sensuality because you’re tapped into so many senses at once. Dance naked in your apartment. Adore your body in the mirror. Begin to learn to LOVE your body, enough of that hating it thing, it’s trés boring. Watch movies that will help you channel sensuality, like Dangerous Beauty or any of those European movies with those va-va-vixens. Learn their ways and begin to mimic them. Read books, like Mama Gena’s Womanly Arts or PUSSY, both by the same author. You’ll certainly never EVER be the same woman again….