What do you think are the keys to increase feminine energy and radiance?

This is a loaded question and I’ve got to tell you, I’ve tried it all. Figuring out how to increase feminine energy and radiance - essentially meaning that magnetic, glowing quality that oozes when a woman is in her power - is my reason for living, breathing, and waking up each morning. It’s what fuels every choice I make and every thing I do, every single day.

First of all, I don’t think we have to really increase our feminine energy - it’s already there , deep down ladies, just waiting for us to let it out. However, we’re often taught to suppress our femininity, our beauty, and our power for fear of one thing - being too much. But as Betsy Prioleau says in her book Seductress, “Too muchness was the goddess’s signature, ‘ all that’s fascinating, terrible [and] overpowering.’ They kept things in motion and throw off électricité, the star power that sends shock waves through a room.”

So the first step is deciding and declaring, to yourself, that from this point on you’re no longer going to hide from the world. You’re going to walk tall, stand proud, and sashay about town and through the world without fear. It really takes that moment of making a choice to be seen to begin to shift from insecurity to radiant. Most women are just so afraid to be seen that they dim their own light. What if you decided that it was not only okay to be beautiful, powerful, successful, feminine, and radiant?

But more importantly, what if you decided that actually, it wasn’t really as big of a deal as it seems? That all of these qualities, when inhabited, are actually a whole lot of fun to live from. To be able to smile and chat up anyone. To be able to walk into a board room meeting with the confidence of Rihanna. To be able to go on a first date and feel like Venus after just emerging from her half shell. To feel not only okay with success but to marinate in it, enjoy it, and feel confident about your finances and ability to live out the life you desire.

The keys are many and I will go over these throughout the Q and A, but it really takes a few simple steps to get started. The most important being learning how to marinate in beauty.

One of the things I live by is that your home is where you marinate, the palace where we spend most of our time and energy. So essentially, over the last year or so, I’ve made my home into an Alter to Venus. What most women don’t realize, or if they do, they don't practice it, it that beauty, femininity, and radiance comes from slowness..from cultivating…from marinating. Not from running around like a crazy person, blowing off hormones until the next incarnation and back. So if you understand that femininity comes from this golden, sticky, slowness, reminiscent of honey, you’ll appreciate the art of marinating. And the best place to marinate is right in your own home, thinking of it more as the shell that Venus resides in rather than the place you go home to to binge on Real Housewives in sweatpants (yes, I’m talking to you).

When I realized all of this, i got to work. I bought the best furniture I could afford. The most luxurious sheets. Beautiful candles to light at night. I began purchasing bouquets of flowers weekly and do floral arrangements in my home. i put fresh bouquets of Eucalyptus in my shower so it feels like i’m bathing in Ancient Rome. I take cold showers and scrub my face with raw honey, like the Greek Goddesses once did. At home, my hair is down and my silk lingerie is on. I eat dark chocolate with fresh raspberries while watching movies like Dangerous Beauty in candle-light. So often we think we have to fix ourselves back to our femininity and radiance but I think we have to learn to let go and enjoy ourselves, bringing more beauty and pleasure into our lives. Pleasure is the greatest aphrodisiac on the planet, the energy that creates a whirlpool of vitality within and around a woman. So get off the self-help blogs and put the fix-me-up books and start having a little more fun.

Where to start when it comes to harnessing one’s sensuality + sexual energy?

A few years ago I stumbled upon an Instagram account of a woman named Jeanne Damas. if you know me by now you know my love of French women, as they are the epitome of sensuality and beauty radiating from within, no matter they look like physically. As I began to follow Jeanne, I started to follow in awe, wondering how this woman could look stunning even in a simple knee-length skirt, espiradelle’s, and a thin cardigan sweater? Attitude, my dears, is truly in fact everything.

Let’s start by taking trip down psychology lane in the town called the Women of France. French woman, and many other European women, are brought up to embrace their beauty, femininity, and sensuality, NOT fear it. They are classy, confident, and generally, don't give two hoots what others think of them because they have come to truly believe that they are perfect, no matter what. Sound narcissitic? Well, to me that sounds more fun than believing we’re imperfect, not good enough, not pretty enough, thin enough, smart enough, blah blah blah boring. They are literally brought up, as my friend Violette, the ultimate French girl once told me, with the understanding that they are absolutely perfect and a gift to the world and if anyone tells them otherwise to absolutely 100% not believe them. So essentially, confidence and self-acceptance is embedded into the psyche of these women, two of the most important ingredients in cultivating sensuality and sexuality.

And most importantly, they’re not afraid of pleasure - be it sexually, romantically, or even in indulging in the simple pleasures of life - a little coffee, a little wine, a little croissant, and a lot of dancing the night away. They bathe in the sunshine topless. They read novels instead of How To Heal Autoimmune. They flirt with the world. But in a culture that is literally brought up on these principles of enjoying life rather than fearing it, what’s the rest of us to do? How do we become confident and sensual when we feel completely the opposite?

By investing in yourself and exploring your beauty + sensuality, that’s how. Wash your hair you dirty girl and let it down - hair flowing in the wind is undeniably sensual. Have short hair? Wear your favorite pair of earrings and shine bright like a diamond. Choose clothing that make you feel like a woman and leave the Lululemons at the door hunny. European women always make an effort to look their best, even if their just going to the market. And who are they looking their best for? THEMSELVES. This is the most important ingredient. Indulge in beauty routines that take way too long in beautiful lingerie, just for you (my favorite brand is The Great Eros). Get manicures and pedicures on the reg - no it’s not vain, it’s keeping your body in shape. You floss your teeth at night (hopefully) so why would you want hangnails and cracks in your feet? You don’t want to get into bed with a man who’s feet look like Gollum so why should you be all high and mighty to not take care of your own nails. Shave your armpits. Or don’t shave your armpits. Whichever make YOU feel most beautiful. Take yourself out on dates. Take dance classes. Dancing is the fastest way to embrace your sensuality because you’re tapped into so many senses at once. Dance naked in your apartment. Adore your body in the mirror. Begin to learn to LOVE your body, enough of that hating it thing, it’s trés boring. Watch movies that will help you channel sensuality, like Dangerous Beauty or any of those European movies with those va-va-vixens. Learn their ways and begin to mimic them. Read books, like Mama Gena’s Womanly Arts or PUSSY, both by the same author. You’ll certainly never EVER be the same woman again….